A TEEN’S DESIRE
“He doesn’t have time for family, he always keeps his door closed and seems to be eternally on his cell phone,” a parent claimed. While the teen has his ready answer: “There’s no point in talking to my parents. They just don’t know me.”
A new era has dawned, an invisible wall now separate the family — it stands between parents and children. Parents are now compelled to work hard to know about their own children, trying hard to follow their day-to-day activities. In most cases the children are addicted to the social media — a habit that literally turns them into “outsiders” who have little or no time for their parents
In fact, child experts worry that the social media and text messages that have become so integral to teenage life are promoting anxiety and lowering self-steam. By constant participation in such activities their health and wellbeing are impacted. Snapshot, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram — all led to increased feelings of depression, anxiety, poor body image and loneliness.
Argument with parents or misunderstanding between them can often be the reason behind their addiction. Teenager-parent quarrel explode episodically — they are, at a superficial level, about curfews, homework, housework and respect. A teenager’s real focus is on a parents’ acknowledgement of his maturity and capability or his or her worth as a human being capable of making decisions.
When a moratorium is enforced arbitrarily: “No, you can’t go out tonight”, causes more than a glitch in a teen’s social diary. It implies that a parent doesn’t trust him to his own decision. And in a teen’s eyes, that is humiliating! So, parents should be extra careful when forcing decision on a child. Teens expect their parents to appreciate who they have become, even before they are even acquainted with this new or emerging persona.
While teens want to shake the parents into an awareness of the new and exciting persons they hope to become, parents need to get out of their vigilant selves. Half of the problem would be solved if parents try not to overly involved in children’s life and stop monitoring them “beyond appropriate boundaries.”
Supportive parents and close family relationship protect child from risky behavior like alcohol and other drugs use and mental problem such as depression. With a lot of support from the parents the teens the risk of alienation is curtailed. An increased interest in what the teen is doing can boost his or her desire to do well academically too.
It’s normal for teenager to be moody or uncommunicative or become Facebook addict, but they still need their dads and moms. Their love for their parents is never in short supply and the desire to be involved in family life is also something that never disappear, even though at times attitude, behavior or body language might seem to express otherwise.
In all probability, what a teen is aiming for, after all, is to gain recognition and respect from the parents he or she still loves.
By Lilunnaher Chandni
