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Perception

To Be Unsocial on the Social Media

 by Anisha Hassan

When you have to hear news like the Bangladesh cricket team’s win from a friend even after being online all day, you start thinking about what you are doing wrong, not long before you get turned an expert at “How to not be social on the social media”. While such case was a bit extreme one, if someone is not a cricket fan, there are definitely better and more informative ways of being on social media without unwanted human interventions.

Other than means of communicating and keeping in touch with friends, social media is also notoriously responsible for a lot of headaches. According to Forbes magazine, “Depression, anxiety, feelings of loneliness and isolation, lower self-esteem, and even suicidality” are often caused when someone is exposed to a continuous stream of posts, or sometimes by fear of missing out, which we now call “FOMO”. Cutting yourself off is not what we or anyone else would suggest, but knowing your own limit and learning to control what you see and choose to expose yourself to is a smart way to begin. 

Time your Social Media hours

We all have been through the phase where we promise ourselves to lessen the time spent on social media – nothing but empty promises. Instead, set a specific amount of time each day, since numbers let you count better than vague goals. While users will feel restrained in the first few days, with time it will pass and you will eventually get used to not checking your notifications every two seconds. Half an hour of social media time a day is healthy, however, if that is too much of a challenge (which it usually is for avid users), try to lessen the time gradually. What this does is that, it reduces one’s anxiety and fidgetiness, makes you less curious and once you get used to the lifestyle your mind starts to feel less clogged. If not anything else, think about all the premature crow’s feet you’ll be getting from staring at a screen for too long.

Share Sparingly 

The perfect timelines do not exist, or at least not in reality. What we see are hours of hard work, filters, numerous attempts, and endless editing, something not possible for the average person to keep up with on a daily basis. Trying to post updates or worse, stories of every detail can not only be tiring but can become an addiction eating up your precious time. Instead of looking to social media for validation through carefully curated posts, look to your family and close friends. You don’t have to withdraw yourself, simply limit what you share to special events like birthdays or anniversaries, events that truly make you feel special without the likes and comments. 

You Control What You See 

While more connectivity is what we seek, too much of it can lead to a heap of negative emotions. Times like when you are not feeling up to the mark but see your mates getting their dream jobs, buying their first house or car, going on frequent vacations can upset you even more. Or worse, you see constant updates from the people you never wanted to add in the first place, but well, circumstances. While some of us have already done this, a lot of people have strayed from the infamous unfollow button that allows us to steer clear from posts that we do not want to see without notifying the person posting it. With other sites like Instagram also adding the “mute” feature, it has become a lot easier to avoid unnecessary drama. Only follow friends and pages you want to be updated with, be it Buzzfeed, CNN, or Tasty. 

Not Everyone in your Friend list is a friend 

From that one guy in a course 3 years ago to your colleague from the other floor whom you’ve never spoken to, somehow everyone ends up on the social media. The question lies in whether you want them to see your family pictures, or know about every place you visit, or where you live. A haven for stalkers, social media can be a scary place at times, especially with people updating their whereabouts. Instances such as burglary while traveling have occurred solely from the burglars knowing of it from social media. So from that restricted button to acquaintances to custom, spend a little time to fix who falls under what. As harsh as it sounds, it is all worth it for the peace of mind. 

Responses Can Wait

Let me just reply to that one comment and I will be out of the app before I know it. While a lot of us have said this, sticking to it was much harder. Social media is like a Pandora’s Box which once opened invokes you to keep going until you lose count of how much time actually went by. The replies, comments, and likes can wait; life has got many more important things that require your attention, things like your job or studies which could use the same attention you are putting elsewhere.

Not just that, constantly trying to reply to every comment and message or checking your story view list can make you dependent on these factors for emotions like happiness, definitely not where you should be looking. 

None of these techniques are new and we have always had the privilege to use them. It just happens as such that we did not click that unfollow button for the fear that we might be missing out on important things, but it is also the very thing which makes us anxious eventually leading to a chain reaction and creating a heap of other emotions, which we could definitely do better without. 

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